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Monday 16 May 2011

Before Land, off on tangent

So am at uni attempting to revise for Land but suddenly feel very tired, thought I would take a few moments out and catch you all up on the madness that is what this is all is. I asked a friend to call me early in the morning to wake me up, I think that is probably the most effective method of waking  up J I believe at five thirty. My mantra: only a few days left, five, five uni days left but just so very tired of it. Physically need to sleep and let my body rejuvenate. It is all very well being at uni etc blah but truly when we all get into the world of work, what kind of institution will truly make us sit three hour exams? Me thinks that ought to be in breach of some sort fundamental human right. It is too much stress and pressure on one persona. Yes, eventually it is do-able and we majority will find the mental strength to do it. I told you these next few blogs would only focus on revision and exams. I am repeating myself most likely next year the same theme shall crop up again.
I have recently over the last few months been questioning myself over my choice in doing Law. I chose this degree with the belief that I could use it to make a change for the better in this world and I still hold the belief that Law can change things but now I realise that perhaps, maybe that a career in Law is not for me. There I have said it, out loud and proud to the world at large. There have been numerous people who have also questioned and have been puzzled at my choice but what can I say. The Law when used correctly is a beautiful, magnificent tool but I am feeling that it is not the right tool for me to use to spread what knowledge and belief and wisdom I have. Oh my! Cannot believe I am finally admitting this out loud. What will the law department think? But I am happy. I am happy that I have realised this now and I am happy that this thought does not scare me. I guess it is the acceptance of it all. See my original plan was to hopefully graduate, do LPC and find work as a solicitor in a Law firm now it has slightly changed. I find myself being a jack of all trades and master of none. Like so many out there I guess I am still trying to find my way; still trying to find the career for me.
I said much early on and even in my profile that I aimed to inspire and for long now I have realised that the way for me, I believe, to spread the inspiration it to teach. To infiltrate the way people think and make them see things differently. That is the way to do it. I still love my degree, it brings me so much pain and it is so very hard but I love every moment of it. Pleasurable pain. I know that at the end of it I will be so much better off, it will open a vast many doors.
I remember A- Levels I was offered Critical Thinking. I remember my tutors words clearly “You are la crème de la crème”, cream of the crop, the smartest, most able. And with my degree, at any stage it is not that you cannot do it, it is only and just because life gets in the way. Just remember that there is so much more to life than uni and a degree. And it may seem like order, may seem sensible but then where is order in sitting an exam for three hours or staying up all night, not eating, not resting just to finish off some assignment which a few weeks down the line you will undoubtedly have no recollection of. Such is life huh? Sometimes we should not take it so seriously, I hope somehow in some lil way my words do not fall on deaf ears. And some may say that I am talking without knowing anything but then each to their own. Ahem, guess I went off on one of my tangents but first things first let us get these exams out the way and finish university before making the next career move. All things in moderation.
Academic intelligence is not everything. There is something called Wisdom and you will not learn that in any school, college, university nor any institutions. You will find it on the streets, on the dusty dirt ridden roads, in the deepest darkest oceans, you will find it in your friends, in your family even in your enemies. And it is Wisdom that will truly enlighten you.

2 comments:

  1. i'm glad i read your blogs
    insightful to say the least

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  2. Thank you, it's nice to know that my words are reaching people. I hope I can continue to do so

    Much love
    Naz

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