Monday, 22 August 2011

Criminal Law Exam II

Omg! My exam is this week! L
Part of me feels so panicky and the other half honestly does not care anymore. I am at a point, actually I think I’ve been at this point for a very long time, but I no longer really know if I am smart or clever or even wise. I just say a lot of things that I believe in whether am good at it or not is always for someone else to judge I suppose. Where was I going with this? Oh yes! Well I would love to pass but I have failed so many times I think part of me expects myself to fail because that seems to be what I am really good at. At the moment I am too hyped up on nerves for that to depress me or perhaps I am just so use to this thought that maybe it no longer bothers me. Who knows? What’s the word am looking for? Paradox? Yes I think that is it.
So criminal is on the 18th August I hope you are all keeping your fingers and toes crossed for me. I really need it. Doing law has been my one and only ambition (apart from helping others etc) let’s hope I make it.
I did make use of one of my lecturers. He has such an amazing brain. The whole department have such amazing minds. Being in there presence I feel like a pebble compared to a mountain. So I wrote a few answers to some past exams questions. And guessy what? For rape I actually got & 72% yea miracles do happen and hard work does pay off. Of course there were some criticisms and also perhaps the fact that I did not do it under timed conditions may have helped in getting that grade. For the other paper which was duress by threats paper I got 64%. Now that’s all well and good but I do certainly hope I can manage that for my actual exam.
Oh here is a really useful tip: when you commence second year you might want to consider getting a mini suitcase thingy because carrying all those books can be quite heavy and bad for your back if like me you put all the weight on one shoulder.
If like me you are doing re-sits then I wish you all the very best of luck
P.s  Who likes the pics?

Thursday, 11 August 2011

Third Riot, More to Come?

Yet again I find myself writing to you about the events of last night. Another night of mindless rioting. When will it end? This year 2010/2011 has been atrocious both personally and globally. I hope this nonsense shall end.
Despite wanting others to stay indoors and others warning me I did venture out initially to take pictures but my destination diverted to see my girl. But I must admit it was terrifying, perhaps I was watching too much news and seeing too many posts on Face Book and Twitter but what I saw speaks for itself. So many groups of youths some in balaclavas and others openly with them heading towards Wood Green, some on foot and others on bikes or in cars. My heart racing I focused on getting to my destination. Who knew that the mindless thugs would spread now hitting East Ham, Croydon, Peckham, Lewisham, Birmingham and Liverpool. Yet again more houses are set alight and people being robbed even whilst injured. Why do we have a group of mindless young folk acting out in such a despicable manner? They surely do not represent the rest of us who have ambition, who have manners and respect?
Walking down the high street this morning was weird, on a day like this it should be packed with families, youngsters and masses of people but it is unusually quote. There are still some thugs about; two were inciting the public to join the rioting. For shame!
At a time like this we need to come together as a community and clean up this mess. I would also like to clean up the thugs but let us leave that to the hands of the law and hope that justice shall be eked out swiftly and severely. Let us not forget the words of Lord Philip
“Justice must not only be done but should manifestly and undoubtedly be seen to be done.”

Monday, 8 August 2011

Seeing the Damage

Ok now I know I have just written a blog about this but I just went out to the local library and also met up with a friend so we could see the damage done. I should have taken pictures but the thought only just crossed my mind.
We walked around Wood Green and it is an appalling sight. So many shops have been looted, windows have been broken, so much stuff has been stolen, it is terrible. Carpetright and all the flats above it have been completely burnt to a crisp, the only thing that remains on the streets are remnants of bricks. When will the people learn? Amongst the retail casualties: HMV, JD Sports, Body Shop, N22, H&M amongst the few to name.
Our community in complete shatters. But then whilst walking down the high road everyone muddles through and tries to carry on as normal, you can feel the tense atmosphere, business is slow and some shops closed. Dark clouds above us and the heat of the night is still amongst us. People are thinking how long will this carry on? Let yesterday night be the last. So many areas have been hit by these mindless thugs: Tottenham, Wood Green, Enfield, Edmonton, Ponders End, Brixton and all the while the question on the public’s mind is why wasn’t anything done to prevent this atrocity?
We are living in hard times. Jobs are scarce, the price of education unfortunately has risen at an all time high, public spending has been so severely hacked at that we find ourselves asking what hope is there left? 75% of the budget for youth services slashed. When will the powers that be hear the voice of the ones that put them there? Don’t forget if they made you then they can break you.
Once the people are hungry enough they will come fighting. Let us hope things change quickly for the better soon.

For Shame Tottenham!

Dear Tottenham,
What on Earth is wrong with you?! The events of the last few nights have been appalling to say the least. I am disgraced and ashamed at everything that has happened. As if things weren’t bad enough already now it has got worse and I know for sure that we have not seen the last of it.
The streets were deserted, shops looted, businesses ransacked and homes burnt to cinders. Why? Why? Why? Are our lives so fickle that people must move to such stupid measures? Can people not realise that such idiotic acts will not get anyone anywhere? There is only so much violence and thoughtless acts will get you. Fair enough you may be angry and feel things are unjustified but ruining other people’s lives and means of livelihood will make them hate you all the more and these are the people whose support you really need.
But who am I kidding? I am talking to an audience that is not listening, that will not get this message. And yet as always I try.
I have grown up and lived in north London for the fair majority of my life and never have I seen such disgraceful acts right on my door step. Like I said to those of you who read this there is something that our educational establishments cannot teach and that is: courtesy, manners, chivalry, honesty, bravery.... you catch my drift?
Let there be no more of these mindless acts, let there be no more unjustified hate, no more relentless anger.
I am not saying don’t be angry or to ignore the other side’s wrong doing. I am merely saying as many before me have said to use that anger in a constructive manner that will not harm other people’s lives. We need to come together not to go loot Wood Green or Tottenham High Road and burn people’s homes but to strengthen our community, to make our streets safer to walk in, for the next generation to be able to play freely in. We should be proud of our diverse multi-culturism, it should not be something that racist people can attack us on and say to us to go back to our own country. We make London what it is.... diverse, friendly but most importantly welcoming to all others. We need to come together to reinforce this because this is what we really are.

Thursday, 4 August 2011


No patience like a saint
So hot tempered and quick to anger
Fury plays on your mind and always does it linger
But deep inside the heart is so tender.

Words fall from your lips so pristine
With all ears do I listen, ever so keen.
Your shoulders alone do I want to lean
A heart like yours? No. Never have I seen.

Like a playful cub biting and clawing...
It is so simple; your lips are the only ones I want to keep kissing.
Violent mind with scars to bear
Betrays the heart that to me is so dear

A voice that can raise hell                                                                               
Yet when whispered and sung makes all the angles dwell
On all sweet things to him they forgot to tell
But on this fallen angel his words do make her eyes swell

So wise and yet so foolish
All in all he is just so simply boyish.
In his arms do I long to be
To know the truth of our reality

But this dear broken heart is in so much doubt
Even though all hidden things have been let out.
Need only to be in those arms, looking deep into those eyes
For my heart to know your words are no lies

To remain by your side
Forever can I swallow life’s disgusting bile.
It is with you only that I want to argue
And yet always will I remain true

An enigma to my mind
Somehow my heart you’ve made so blind
Entwine my fingers with yours; lay my head upon your chest
Victorious we will come through all of life’s tests

Crazy, erratic, confusing
My heart for you has long been searching
Perhaps now with each other we can find some solace.....

On Life???

An internal turmoil,
That is infamously called life.
It causes us nothing but strife
In everything you do so hard you must toil.

A heart that feels nothing but frustration,
Caged like a bird in all its desperation.
To escape and be free,
Would be such a sweet victory.

A mind plagued with the concepts of duty,
Will always be a burden of too much responsibility
Like a black crow that guards the tower
My feet are grounded unfortunately forever.

Hands chained and feet shackled
Life has me always in its grip tightly buckled
No net of safety, no air bag to soften the blow
This life has me at an all time low

They say patience bears sweet fruit
But here is the honest truth
Life is nothing but a big brute.

Keep drowning in this abyss
Would much rather an eternal sleep
And feel nothing but ignorant bliss
But life has its claws seeped into me way too deep.

Walking through thorns
Is this really why we were born?
Gliding through fire
Who knew life could be so dire

And so we struggle in this never ending fight
To feel that piece of happiness so bright
With clipped wings, chained hands and shackled feet
From this blood-thirstiness of life can we never retreat.

~The Poet~

Re-Sit Revision

Hi all, how are your summer holidays going?
So thought I would catch you all up on my “summer” so far. But what can I say? Much of my time is now spent on revising and applying for jobs and I just feel so rubbish about it all. Yet again I feel the same insecurities as before. Fear of failing only this is my last chance to get through to the next year. And all the while all I really want to do is curl up into a ball and hide away from the world. Being in this position yet again is deflating. I ask myself time and time again if there is any point in carrying on? I do love my course, it is challenging to say the least but even more so rewarding when I do actually pass something. A part of me thinks if I have taken the right course but this has been my dream, my goal since the age of twelve/thirteen. Believe it or not before law I did actually want to do archaeology.
Plan B: in the event that I do happen to fail my re-sits I intend to do a legal secretary course with the Institute of Legal Secretaries and PA’s. Before this I had every intention of just leaving the country and teaching English in a country far, far away but as that is not the most practical and ideal solution, I googled, believe it or not, “what happens if I fail my Law degree” and somehow I came across the legal secretary course which now seems to be the better course of action.
But I cannot help the feeling that a big part of me just wants to throw in the towel in and give up. My sister suggested that perhaps it would be best to just cut my losses and move on but then I would be a fool to not take up all the opportunities to carry on with my law degree. I have said before and I do mean it when I say that academic studies/intelligence is not everything. There are many things that the educational institute cannot teach you i.e. manners, chivalry, courtesy, common sense etc
Whilst sitting on my perch the neighbour came out and we had a really nice chat. Well, he talked and I listened. There are so many friendly people out there. And he was speaking to me about everything how life is now in cities is just so rushed, everything we do is rushed. People rush off to work, school/college/uni, to shop, to meet people but why so? Why can we not just take our time and look to admire life in all its beauty and enjoy it?
Everything has a time limit, education and work. Two things that dominate our lives, we just cannot escape it. None of us can escape this sad fact of life. And once education is over there are jobs which come with bills and insurances to pay: car, life, home etc. Tell me when does all this nonsense stop? Even life has a time limit and we should make the most of it and enjoy it.
Speaking to my neighbour and the security guard at my local library they both tell me the same thing life is too short and you only get one chance at it so you need to do what makes you happy. Look before you leap. I looked hard and toiled much to get here and to remain here on this LLB course, it is much harder than anyone can anticipate. But that is just my experience.
The journey carries on, the toil and the struggle. Everything will fall into place as it should...

Monday, 1 August 2011

If I just had one more chance

Sometimes I just want to give up
I look into your eyes
You stare blankly back
I reach out to hold you
And like a frozen statue you remain
So I shrivel up inside
And slowly continue to die

Aching to feel your kiss
To be held in your arms
To be protected by you like I know I should
Just like everyone else

Dying every day just to sit beside you
To be fed by you
To listen to your voice
To learn all the things you never got to teach
To be taken care of just by you

Just to hear your voice one more time
To feel your kisses on my hands
Those last ones... they’re still sweet on me
And yet still so slowly I die... without you

And I know with no trace of doubt
That each tear shed
Would be a smile if you were here by my side
If we just had one more chance
But now you’re all just bones and dust
And there is no one else I can trust

If we had just one more chance
I would tell you “take me with you”
I would ask you “why leave me behind
So alone without you?”

If I just had one more chance
I would hold you so tight
I would tell you just how much I love you
If I just had more chance
I would be happy just to say your name
And hear you say mine and that you love me back

If I just had one more chance
But now you’re all just bones and dust...


I wonder what it feels like for you
To be so free, so elegant, so poise
I wonder what it’s like to be so free?
And yet so caged by man

I wonder what it’s like to have a cute button nose
Wonder what it’s like to look at the world through your big
Beautiful Disney eyes

I wonder what it is you feel
Wonder how broken your heart must be
Wonder how it must be not to shed a tear

I wonder how it feels when they place their tiny paws on your tummy
Then I wonder how lonely it must be
Wonder how much joy you feel every time they follow you, annoy you, bite you, hold and curl up to you
Then I realise and try to feel the grief you feel
When they don’t return

I wonder if... I wonder if you regret your form
To be separated, torn apart, no choice, no say
Wonder how broken you must be
But then I think and realise I know... I know
Just exactly how you feel...
To loose everything and to have nothing
To be torn apart, kept alive, with no one there by your side
I know...