Wednesday, 30 May 2012

The Beauty of Law

Hello my darling readers, how are you all? How have you found our journey so far?

There has been many up’s and down’s over the period from which I first began writing these blogs. Most times I have had so many difficulties over studying and revising and completing coursework’s and I have focused on how difficult this was. However, despite the difficulties and the desire to dramatically change my career path, Law as you know is something I have always wanted to study but whilst having one’s head buried deep within the books it is so very difficult to appreciate the beauty of the Law, of the text that one reads, so difficult whilst trying to decipher the intricate and detailed language of the Law one cannot appreciate the beauty of the language. And despite occasionally my frustration at exams and the course itself I do realise just how lucky I am to have been able to study such a prestigious course, to have been accepted at this university and to have made it so far, that in itself is a major accomplishment. Thinking of the very fact that I have spent the last four years of my life completing a Law degree hehe... Woooooooooooooohooooo J

I hope you enjoyed last week’s picture of the Victoria Sponge. I wanted to explain because I failed to do so in the last blog what I meant by “modern”. Apparently traditionally a Victoria sponge cake would only have a jam filling and would in fact be dusted with caster sugar and not icing sugar as is usually done today. The icing sugar and cream addition is fabulous though. This week is a coffee and walnut cake with a coffee walnut butter cream topped with the same butter cream and extra chopped walnuts. Here’s something I’m not even that big a fan of coffee cake J

Monday, 28 May 2012

The End Of Exams

Hey all!

How is everyone doing?

I’m sorry for the lack of blogs and not catching you up more regularly unlike last year this year I haven’t put down my entire journey of the examination period but as you probably already know it has been a hectic time indeed. This week Monday I finished my very last exam ever wooooooooooooooooo! That was Equity and Trusts and in fact probably the most hardest topic I have ever faced not only because of the topic itself but also because of the fact that it was my last exam ever, the sheer thought of that was overwhelming enough. Nights were endless and my diet consisted mainly red bull and coffee, not the healthiest thing to do but during those excruciating moments you lose your appetite and anything you do eat just makes you feel so sick. Believe me, every time I woke up I felt horribly ill.

Patience and endurance.

The next hard part is waiting for results and finding work in a field I like. The world is now my oyster! As I mentioned after uni I want to explore baking and patisserie classes so to mark the beginning of that journey I baked a modern day Victoria sponge cake with raspberry jam and a whipped cream filling :-D

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

My Exams

So here I am trying to revise for my first exam which is on Company law and I just cannot get over how useless exams actually are. I mean we all think it but here is me putting it out there in my way. In the grand scheme of life there is very rarely an occasion where one will use the skills learnt in exam in real life. Perhaps the only time you will under such a time constraint is most obviously when you are cooking and the only other example I can think of is perhaps a bomb squad.

Writing up four essays in three hours does not give me any merits rather it gives me and perhaps most other people out there a really big head ache and multiple mini heart attacks. It does not teach me and help me to develop my writing skills, it puts me under immense pressure to write as much gibberish as possible with the worst possible handwriting I could ever conjure up.

Out in the real world we will, of course, have many deadlines to meet so why most courses carry a bigger weighting for exams i.e. law 70% exam is beyond me!

I move to suggest that exams should be minimised and greater weighting given to coursework’s. This of course probably emanating from the frustration revision gives you.

15th May 2012

For Company I decided to tackle the corporate veil and directors duties yet again, then s.172 which states that a director has a duty to promote the success of a company but must have regard to certain factors and finally articles of association which is basically the company’s constitution. That is correct Company and Partnership Law four big questions for one to complete in a matter of 3 hours and 15 minutes and even though I thought I couldn’t manage it I at least answered my four chosen questions. For Company is over.

Monday, 14 May 2012

The Beginning of the End

A very big hello to all my dearest readers!

That time of year is upon us again. Exam time! Last year I shared with you my journey throughout revision and this year has been slightly different as I have begun to share with you my own history and the roots from which I come. I know that there are so  many people that will be in a similar situation to me that have had continuous hardships and obstacles thrown in their way. Trust me the amount of problems and skeletons that keep cropping up it is a wonder I did not drop out.

The Christmas period for me was yet another pivotal point in my life that turned everything around and made me realise (though I don’t need this lesson from life, I’ve had quite enough thank you very much) that nothing will ever be as it seems. Lies and secrets uncovered that damaged my image of those most closest to me when in numbers they are so few.

If you have read the last two blogs perhaps you would have by now put the pieces together and realised that during the summer of 2010 I was kicked out on to the streets with nowhere to go. The kindest of friends took me in and put a roof over my head without one shred of hesitation. That was an emotional period and it still is what with a continuous stream of problems emanating from that one event. However, despite all of that I am finally coming to an end of my time at university. Whether I succeed in this next of the journey shall remain to be seen but again the message here is perseverance and determination.

It’s not easy and many times there have been times where I just wanted to give up on university but my tutors told me to stick at it for a few weeks and then see how I feel then a few weeks went by and coursework was handed out and before I realised I was handing in all the assignments. Even in lectures it was emotional discussions of domestic violence and abuse or formulating a will made me cry endlessly most times right in the middle of the lecture room. Placements constantly reminded me of how unfaithful (not only partners but cousins aunts and uncles etc) some people can be. Having said that there are many people that are willing to help and there are plenty of places where people in similar situations can get advice.

I end by letting you know that if you are having housing issues like mine and are in need of some expert advice then I strongly recommend contacting Streetwise Community Law Centre (based in Beckenham), a quick Google search will provide you with all the relevant contact details but they currently do not have their own website.

For now the very best of luck for exams

Much Love


Tuesday, 8 May 2012


Now living life like a corpse, no trust in any one, no faith in goodness, no belief left in happiness and that’s not the depression talking.

Imagine a childhood surrounded in death, nothing else surrounds you.

Then those that took you in were fake. They were lies.
Those people that put a roof over your head, that put the clothes on your back well they kept tabs on everything, on every little penny they spent on you they wanted back. Those people who claimed to have your best at heart they beat you till you bled, till your lips cracked open and bloated, till your eyes turned black and you had to cover your face with your hair. Any utterance of from you would be met with criticism and then you would learn not to speak.

There were no angels looking out for you, those that died were not protecting you from up above and no prince charming came, there was no light at the end of the tunnel, no saving grace.

Any good you did was called evil, any chore was replied with you being called lazy. Get down on the ground and wipe the floor clean with a bucket and sponge. Cinderella but no prince charming.

Your hunger secondary, your tears primary. Sleepless nights filled with fear but then what would it matter, better to die free then live in cowardice.

Then you learnt to “keep the peace”, say nothing and suffer in silence. Trapped in your own skin, your soul suffocates. Days go by and you learn to pick up a blade but not to those who are slowly killing you but to your own awaiting flesh.

Counting the days to when you would one day be killed or die.

Time going by and the realisation that no one, no one would ever come to save you. No one had the courage and no one could care less.

So through the beats and through the fear you learnt to take it, take all forms of abuse, endure it because nothing can be done without enduring pain. Others had sleep over’s, friends to go shopping with, went to a park but you learnt to stand up through the beats, you learnt to speak against the lies, you learnt to realise the fake, realise what’s real.

But they still entered your head, infiltrated your mind, your thoughts, made you feel worthless, made that small child feel obligated to do anything and everything and so we did. It was never enough.

And they kept using you till one day they realised how much you had grown, till slowly they realised just how much strength you had in you and what once they made cower with fear, what they made crawl into a tiny little corner they now feared.

Did they not realise that the small child they beat would one day grow up? That it would be stronger? Wiser?

Living corpse, inside they destroyed your soul. Shattered belief in anything good. 

Sunday, 6 May 2012

A Small Glimpse Into Me

I ask myself so many times. Is that the way life really used to be like? Looking at me you would never know, you could never guess the darkness from which I have emerged. Writing in third person comes so naturally it is a way to detach from what is, what was reality. Time at university is running out and soon these blogs from me shall also cease. Certain things trigger ones memory. And perhaps one has to face those shadows at some point too.

Two years ago life was so different. When I began uni this journey was so different, never in a million years could I have guessed all that would occur.

Freedom comes at a price, a very hefty one. Once upon a time I had no freedom, everything was under strict control, under what seemed like to be an unbreakable lock. Any sort of speech was forbidden, any unauthorised movement would be met with harsh chastisement, deep wounds and blood loss. Looking at me who would know?
The only way out is to fight. To swallow your fear, to take the beatings, stay awake throughout the nights to make sure no one tries to steal your life, make sure no one tries to harm you but all the vigilance goes to waste. Fight your fear.

Skip to the future:

All around you you’re surrounded by so many people who have so much more than you. Yeah, they have a nice home, they have nice cars, they have better clothes, they appear smarter but they never had any one use them or rinse them dry, take them for all they have and then kick then kick them to the curb and make them bleed mercilessly. What would they know?

The day we were kicked out:

Think Annie. A suit case, a back pack and as many plastic bags as we could carry. Anything valuable was stolen, anything memorable was burnt. That was last year.