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Monday 18 July 2011

Completely defeated

Nothing left to keep me going. With so many setbacks there is only so much one person can take and I can no longer take anything.
The point of this was to share all uni life and experiences and like I said I wanted to show you all everything I could so this is me defeated. How can I carry on? Why is it everything I attempt to do fails so miserably, everything I have slips from my fingers like sand and then I find myself drowning in its quick sand. Have you any idea of what it feels like to loose everything and then you stand with nothing but yourself, your memories most of which are bad? Why is it that it that all the bad things stick so badly like glue.
Waiting to be rescued away from all the rubbish, wanting to run and hide away from everything so that nothing else can touch me, break me. Let the forests envelop me in their leaves, let the river take me along its stream; let me melt away with the clouds, run free with the wild.
Who knew life could be this hard? And yes , yes, yes I know there are so many others out there suffering a worse fate than this. There are people out there completely homeless with nothing but the clothes they carry on their backs. So then why does society shove money down our throats? Why can we not teach manners and chivalry instead? Why must they all feed us lies of status?
Like I said defeated and even that word is too weak to show you how I feel.
I cried, cried and hurt and it hurt so much. Even walking, talking takes too much effort, drains me completely so how just how can I continue?
Why is there so much suffering and why do so many turn a blind eye? Why do they not feel all the sadness? Can they not see the pain of the orphan child starving in its plight?
Learn empathy and maybe we might get somewhere.
Divide and conquer. Stronger together.

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