My Affliction Laying It Bare

I thought I would write again about “My Affliction”. Many people will never understand what depression is, indeed many will say they feel depressed down etc but that is not the same. Depression is a deep affliction of the mind and it takes a lot of will power to overcome it and to face everyday life. Lately my affliction has been getting the better of me. It is like a permanent grey cloud that forever looms over one’s heart. Soon I shall be setting an external blog page from this which will be completely open. This grey cloud darkens each day, it is like a having your hands and feet shackled, your breath stifled, your vision blurred and speech restricted, it is a rock placed upon on your heart. For me it has restricted me from functioning normally, everything has become a struggle. Of course, the depression has been brought on by several issues although in fact it has been present for the great deal of my life; surrounded by much too much death, too much betrayal, abuse I guess it takes its toll.

This month I have two pieces of coursework 19^th and 26^th March. This year has been the greatest struggle whether that is due to the million personal issues urgh. I have had many friends wanting to drop out but even then I have told them that this is the last hurdle, just a few months and we will be done.

Despite all the downers I try to think positive and hype myself up by focusing on the small things that lighten up my moods no matter how dark. So I know lately I think these blogs are turning so morbid and just so uuurrrghh. I want to spread the positive despite all the bad energy that is around.

I think to myself that despite all the rubbish that has happened in life, despite the deaths, the arguments, the illness, betrayals etc I know I have come so far. This journey at uni is my own and so is yours. No one can take it away. Yes, there are so many obstacles will be there for you to overcome no ever said it would be easy. It ain’t anyone else’s battle but yours. People will always get in the way and bad stuff happens that cannot be helped; life is always a learning process. It is hard but persistence and determination will prevail and it will make you stronger.